I am still trying to swap research articles with my wife- however she tears it apart and glosses over the limitations in the articles that support her homebirth cause. The fact of the matter is that we are having a homebirth. Period. She does feel guilty for pulling rank and doing this despite my objections. But it's what she wants. My wife is an fiercely independent woman. Once she's got her mind set on something, there is no turning back for her. It's just mind-boggling that she would gloss over the potential dangers of not being in the hospital, all the meanwhile she says she is afraid of death. But even the slightest increase of getting a C-section gets her worked up.
I tried to talk to her about pre-clampsia. She said, "Oh, I figure if my blood pressure is high, they'll just transfer me." Then she got upset at me as we argued over this. Didn't even try to go over HELLP with her, since I knew that would get me no where. Thank God it's not a common thing, but I'd want her to be in the hospital for this. And besides, all my concerns "stress her out." I really need to shut my mouth and be a good little husband and follow her blindly into the homebirth experience. We fight often over this. Sometimes I think for her, ignorance is bliss. And she wants me to be ignorant as well. It's just frustrating because this is my child as well and I'm thinking about her safety as well.
All I can hope for is that the pain is too much for her to bear and we transfer to the hospital. Despite her proclaiming that homebirth is the safest way to have a baby, and her insistence that she WILL NOT have an epidural, she is a wimp when it comes to pain. But her determination not to have a C-section (which in her mind is automatically done the second she steps into a hospital) could have her pull through the labor pain.
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