I am still trying to swap research articles with my wife- however she tears it apart and glosses over the limitations in the articles that support her homebirth cause. The fact of the matter is that we are having a homebirth. Period. She does feel guilty for pulling rank and doing this despite my objections. But it's what she wants. My wife is an fiercely independent woman. Once she's got her mind set on something, there is no turning back for her. It's just mind-boggling that she would gloss over the potential dangers of not being in the hospital, all the meanwhile she says she is afraid of death. But even the slightest increase of getting a C-section gets her worked up.
I tried to talk to her about pre-clampsia. She said, "Oh, I figure if my blood pressure is high, they'll just transfer me." Then she got upset at me as we argued over this. Didn't even try to go over HELLP with her, since I knew that would get me no where. Thank God it's not a common thing, but I'd want her to be in the hospital for this. And besides, all my concerns "stress her out." I really need to shut my mouth and be a good little husband and follow her blindly into the homebirth experience. We fight often over this. Sometimes I think for her, ignorance is bliss. And she wants me to be ignorant as well. It's just frustrating because this is my child as well and I'm thinking about her safety as well.
All I can hope for is that the pain is too much for her to bear and we transfer to the hospital. Despite her proclaiming that homebirth is the safest way to have a baby, and her insistence that she WILL NOT have an epidural, she is a wimp when it comes to pain. But her determination not to have a C-section (which in her mind is automatically done the second she steps into a hospital) could have her pull through the labor pain.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Why objective, scientific research is worthless in the homebirth debate.
For the next several posts, I'll go into specific details with the back and forth my wife and I have gone over homebirth. But for now, for those of you trying to convince someone on why your particular homebirth position is the one, true righteous way, forget data and research and all that fancy stuff. This applies to people who can interpret research articles and who have no business reading research articles and get all their facts from USA Today or a blog.
So why is data worthless in this debate? I'll give you 3 reasons.
1) Research regarding homebirths is like accounting. What the hell do I mean by that? A finance professor once told us this joke:
By this, I mean there is no 100%, perfect study. People create research studies with the goal of promoting their cause. Even an objective paper will have limitations. It's not to say all research is worthless, but you have to look at these papers with a critical eye. Which leads me to the second reason...
2) This is an EMOTIONAL debate. People get very passionate about the cause. Whether it's some midwife's blog attacking the hospital system or an OB railing against the homebirth movement. Depending on what you believe in will color EVERYTHING you read about a homebirth.
3) The homebirth message is a powerful, seductive message. By that I mean, they take something as scary as pregnancy and labor (which is a scary thing- lots of things can go wrong with the mom and baby) and spin it in a positive way.
Go to a hospital? We'll take care of the baby and you and will respect your wishes, but if something happens, we gotta move quick. C-section, NICU, whatever to save you and the baby. And let's face it, most people don't have positive experiences from the hospital. Even people who lived because of hospital intervention still wouldn't say it was a fantastic time.
Homebirths? The message is one of empowerment, hope, and positivity. You are in control. You are in your home. There are no medical interventions with side effects. We can practice breathing, position changes, soak in a hot tub, get a massage. These are all natural interventions that can help. Now what would you rather have? A C-section? Or a massage in a hot tub sipping a iced tea? Homebirth is about choice and freedom, not being locked into the system. I kinda think Homebirthers see themselves as Neo (in the movie Matrix) and the hospital system as the Matrix, with the OB as Agent Smith.
So for all these reasons, trying to use research and data really will fall flat on its face.
You can try, but what I've found to happen is that you'll find something that shows that your position is right and when you present to somebody who takes the other side of that debate, they'll think your stupid because of all these issues they have with it. And then you'll think they're stupid.
So why is data worthless in this debate? I'll give you 3 reasons.
1) Research regarding homebirths is like accounting. What the hell do I mean by that? A finance professor once told us this joke:
- Q: If you ask an accountant what 1+ 1 is, what will he/she say?
- A: Whatever you want it to be.
By this, I mean there is no 100%, perfect study. People create research studies with the goal of promoting their cause. Even an objective paper will have limitations. It's not to say all research is worthless, but you have to look at these papers with a critical eye. Which leads me to the second reason...
2) This is an EMOTIONAL debate. People get very passionate about the cause. Whether it's some midwife's blog attacking the hospital system or an OB railing against the homebirth movement. Depending on what you believe in will color EVERYTHING you read about a homebirth.
3) The homebirth message is a powerful, seductive message. By that I mean, they take something as scary as pregnancy and labor (which is a scary thing- lots of things can go wrong with the mom and baby) and spin it in a positive way.
Go to a hospital? We'll take care of the baby and you and will respect your wishes, but if something happens, we gotta move quick. C-section, NICU, whatever to save you and the baby. And let's face it, most people don't have positive experiences from the hospital. Even people who lived because of hospital intervention still wouldn't say it was a fantastic time.
Homebirths? The message is one of empowerment, hope, and positivity. You are in control. You are in your home. There are no medical interventions with side effects. We can practice breathing, position changes, soak in a hot tub, get a massage. These are all natural interventions that can help. Now what would you rather have? A C-section? Or a massage in a hot tub sipping a iced tea? Homebirth is about choice and freedom, not being locked into the system. I kinda think Homebirthers see themselves as Neo (in the movie Matrix) and the hospital system as the Matrix, with the OB as Agent Smith.
So for all these reasons, trying to use research and data really will fall flat on its face.
You can try, but what I've found to happen is that you'll find something that shows that your position is right and when you present to somebody who takes the other side of that debate, they'll think your stupid because of all these issues they have with it. And then you'll think they're stupid.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
A brief history. My wife and I are having a baby girl in early April. So far, so good, mom & baby are doing well. No complications. In the beginning, she wanted a homebirth but didn't even think of asking me about it since she knew what my stance was on this- hells no. We toured a local hospital twice, and she's seen 4 doctors and 2 midwife programs in the hospital and 1 CPM. We're going with the CPM and homebirth.
And by that, I mean she wants a homebirth. And I have to support her. What changed?
1) She does not want a C-section.
2) She does not want a C-section- this is worth repeating because she feels that EVERYBODY gets a C-section at the hospital. OBs are butchers licking their scalpels looking for fresh meat to cut into.
3) She has a healthy distrust of the medical system
4) We're attending birthing classes with the CPM and their message about homebirth is one of empowerment and choice, heady stuff for a strong independent feminist hippy
Why did I change? Well, you know, she's physically going through this. Not me. She really, really wants this. She does feel guilty that she's doing something I'm not on board with. But as a husband, I'm supposed to support her 110%. It's not easy, since I'm worried about both of them and if something goes wrong. That and she's a researcher, she has access and knows how to read research articles. She can read one article and argue for a position like she's been in that field for years.
And by that, I mean she wants a homebirth. And I have to support her. What changed?
1) She does not want a C-section.
2) She does not want a C-section- this is worth repeating because she feels that EVERYBODY gets a C-section at the hospital. OBs are butchers licking their scalpels looking for fresh meat to cut into.
3) She has a healthy distrust of the medical system
4) We're attending birthing classes with the CPM and their message about homebirth is one of empowerment and choice, heady stuff for a strong independent feminist hippy
Why did I change? Well, you know, she's physically going through this. Not me. She really, really wants this. She does feel guilty that she's doing something I'm not on board with. But as a husband, I'm supposed to support her 110%. It's not easy, since I'm worried about both of them and if something goes wrong. That and she's a researcher, she has access and knows how to read research articles. She can read one article and argue for a position like she's been in that field for years.
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